Literary Insults

slate-blue zip top pouch illustrated with Shakespearean insults printed in various colors

Our parents always told us: “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” It’s an excellent rule of thumb…but it can be very tough to follow when in the midst of an argument. If you can’t bring yourself to always turn the other cheek, why not add a little cheek to your next comeback? Inspired by the Shakespearean Insults Pouch featured in Bas Bleu’s new Summer 2019 edition, we collected fourteen literary insults sure to elevate your next contretemps to, if not a respectable level, at least a bookish one!

“I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.”—J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

“You talk too damn much and too damn much of it is about you.” —Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye

“If I was as ignorant as you I wouldn’t let on.” —Mark Twain, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn

“She is tolerable; but not handsome enough to tempt me.” —Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“You’re also growing out of your pants a little.” —Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

“It should take you about four seconds to get from here to the door. I’ll give you two.” —Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany’s

“You speak an infinite deal of nothing.” —William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

“The simplicity of your character makes you exquisitely incomprehensible to me.” —Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

“My dear, I don’t give a damn.” —Margaret Mitchell, Gone with the Wind


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4 thoughts on “Literary Insults

  1. On May 20th I mailed a order, on one of you order forms from the catalog. I am wondering if you received it. If so please let me know. If you do not have the order I would like to try again.

    • Thanks for your inquiry, Gerry. I just checked with our order department. They did receive an order from you, but there was an issue with the credit card number. They were unable to reach you via email to clarify it, so the order could not be fulfilled. You can resend it by mail, or you can call our customer service department directly at 1-888-557-2647. One of our customer service representatives will be happy to finalize your order for you. Please let me know if you have any other questions.

      Thank you for supporting Bas Bleu,
      Katherine, editor

  2. As a nipper growing up our dear old Mum would beseech of us many things: Always wash behind your ears; Never eat three Shredded Wheat; and Never marry a lady taller than our good selves. We’d like to say that we maintain this mantra, but unfortunately we love nothing more than a particular cutting quip or insult. Our excuse for such verbal volleys? If it’s good enough for literature then it’s good enough for us.

    • “If it’s good enough for literature then it’s good enough for us” may be our new mantra! Thanks, Eden.

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